Gun to my Head


“New York or New England, make a pick”.  If I knew anything about guns, I’d let you know the model and make.  Shiny.

“Who the fuck are you guys?!”,  I bark back realizing my hands are tied, and some fucktard knocked me out while I was getting into my car.

“New York?  New England?… You mean the fucking Super Bowl?”

“Yeah, that’s right hotshot”, the man says with a smirk, pulling back the trigger on his big shiny gun that won’t get out of my god-damn face!  “Make a fucking pick!!!”   

“OK!”. Quite frightened by large, demanding man with shiny gun. “Take the Pats! Bet the money line if you can’t get it at two and a half. Eli’s been great since the Skins game… but the Sunday night Philly game against Vince Young? The Seahawk game?   I lost $300 on the G-Girls in both of those.  Look, the Giants have been brutal at times when nobody could see it coming!  Stop pointing that shit at me!  The Patriots have been more consistent and Tom Terrific has a terrific smile.  2 weeks for Belichik to gameplan!  Take the Pats! Don’t shoot me for Christ’s sake!”

Large demanding man unties my hands, and places large shiny-gun in a satchel-like bag. I save my satchel comment for a better moment and ask him what’s gonna happen if the Giants win or cover. He tells me it’s life or death for me, and he hopes that we don’t have to cross paths again. As we leave the room and enter the parking lot, curiosity gets the better of me.  I can’t fucking help myself sometimes.

“Hey big man”, I shout out. “What you like for the over/under?”


Tags: , , , , ,

5 Responses to “Gun to my Head”

  1. Bobby B Says:

    To my baby brother, I say, “NICE PICK!”

    Not just because I have a nickel plated Smith & Wesson .45, and wearing a circa 2004 white Vrabel jersey, but because it’s the smart pick! I know that these past few weeks after the AFC and NFC Championship games, there has been non-stop chirping about how great the Giants are and how they should be favored! I guess all of these “Talking Heads” on ESPN, NFL Network and Showtime (Inside the NFL) know better than Vegas! The G-Men also have Snookie guaranteeing a win?!?! Take that to the BANK!!

    But whether you have a gun to your head, or just a lot of $$ riding on it, why wouldn’t you pick the Pats? Take emotions your emotions out of it. How often does Brady have 2 bad games in a row? Gronkowski’s not our only TE, and by the way, he’s still going to play! And lastly, how many more time are people going to go back to “the Pats have to worst D in the NFL” Well?? If you believe that, you might want to look between the lines and determine if passing yards allowed is the only factor when you determine how good a teams Defense really is.

    This is the NFL, so I know that anything can happen. Just like when Tyree caught that football with his helmet in 07. After saying that, this is the first time that I’ve seen an Underdog in the Superbowl being pick by the majority of the “experts” on ESPN, etc to win. As a Pats fan, I wouldn’t have it any other way! Keep the pressure on the Giants and Eli.

    So Tim, your making the right pick!!

    P.S. Would someone please inform these Dumb Dumbs on ESPN that the Pats were in 5 Superbowls in 10 years, NOT 11!!?!? Feb 3, 2002 to Feb 5, 2012 is 10 years and 2 days. 10 years, not 11. I know that it’s a minor thing, but it’s so simple, how can you F that up??

    • Trev Says:

      take it easy Bobby you’re the only person that noticed that ya FREAK!!!! I agree, the Ginas have been talkin pretty big this wk. And everyone is pickin them. Normally I would say take the Pats. I gotta go with the better team. Resume: NE beat 1 good team (BAL, barely). Ginas beat GB & SF.

    • Mojah Fukweh Says:

      Umm 2002-2012 is 10 years if you’re starting at 0 but because the Pats were there in 2002 you’re starting at 1. I know I’m madd late but still count it up, (1) 2002, (2) 2003, (3) 2004, (4) 2005, (5) 2006, (6) 2007, (7) 2008, (8) 2009, (9) 2010, (10) 2011, (11) 2012. Let’s not ignore who actually won the game, although I have to say I picked NE too.

  2. timbytatupu Says:

    Not a great game to throw a bunch of loot on.

  3. JM Says:

    Why I don’t get is everyone is saying the Giants are the hot team with 5 wins in a row, the Pats have won ten in a row and since the Pats last lost the G Men are 6-5

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: