The Sports Cult

Kevin Hart Drives against TIM Hardaway

You may or may not agree with that opinion but it’s a fact that he is a fool.

Last night was the NBA All-Star Celebrity Game, the annual curtain-raiser for the NBA’s All-Star Weekend; a game of actors, singers, rappers, television personalities, NBA Legends, male athletes from other sports, and usually a WNBA star or two. The game was a classic East vs West battle.

The West team boasted the old Golden State Warriors trio, Run TMC (Tim Hardaway, Mich Richmond, and Chris Mullin). Other notable stars were JB Smoove, Ne-Yo, and Common – who is not an NBA player but played one on TV. Common and the East’s J Cole had a head-to-head battle that was dominated by J Cole, as he invited him into “Cole World.”  

The East squad consisted of former Magic backcourt mates Nick Anderson and Penny Hardaway. The only WNBA player in this year’s game was Tamika Catchings, who once had a quintuple double (25 points, 18 rebounds, 11 assists, 10 blocks, 10 steals) while playing at the University of Tennessee.

The second year player from Harvard also appeared; not Jeremy Lin, but Arne Duncan (I had to throw Linsanity in here somewhere). The U.S. Secretary of Education, who first appeared in last year’s game, posted a stat line of 17 points, 8 rebounds, 5 assists, and 5 steals.

The play of the game was a gorgeous over-the-shoulder pass from Duncan to Cole for a wide open lay-up in transition, which Cole missed.

ESPN’s Doug Gottlieb may take some criticism for his full-court press and overall intensity, but not from me. As much as I like laughing at the antics during this game, I watched it for the basketball and I greatly appreciated a real baller going out there and leaving it all out on the court.

However, the night belonged to Kevin Hart.

Before the game, Hart said that he would get 40 and 10. “40 minutes and 10 turnovers”, said East Head Coach Dwight Howard when asked in a pregame interview.

When asked by Stuart Scott “How’re you gonna outcoach Big Dwight?”, West coach Kevin Durant responded with “I’mma outthink him. I don’t think he knows the game of basketball as well as I do”.

Howard responded by reminding Durant that he is the 3-time NBA Defensive Player of the Year, which proves he knows a thing or two about the game. Howard continued by using famous Hart lines such as “Make you go night-night,” “You gon’ learn today,” and “Alright, alright, alriiiiiiight.”

“Chocolate Drop” had a quiet start to the game, and was subbed out after having made no impact at all. But after a boy in a Superman costume challenged Howard to a dunk contest, he sent Hart in to compete for him.

Hart completed a vicious slam and then taunted the boy, who ran away for a photo-op with 25 young girls wearing Orlando Magic Cheerleading outfits.

Hart also put on a show on the sidelines as he pumped himself and his teammates up. He even did some trash-talking in the direction of Mullin – but when Mullin walked up to him, he jokingly apologized and sat down on the bench.

As far as basketball skills, he showed a decent crossover, called plays on offense (in true comedic fashion), and finished with 8 points and 6 assists. One of those  assists was an alley-oop to J Cole.

The highlight of the night took place when Hart was whistled for a foul with 1:09 remaining in the game, and responded in comedic anger. He invited everyone to “Laugh at my pain,” as he pumped his fist in close proximity of the female referee and muttered an expletive to earn a technical foul.

Hart wasn’t finished making the fans laugh as he then took his jersey off, which notably was a tight fit, and then threw his left sneaker at the referee earning him a second technical and an ejection. He then promptly took off his other sneaker and threw it toward mid court on his way back to the bench, and started to take his pants off but stopped before anything was revealed.

The game finished 86-54 in favor of the East, with Hart’s antics earning him a spot in the record books as the MVP.

He stayed in character for the entire night and had me convinced that he wasn’t in character at all – this might actually be the kind of person he is. If this is true, he just may be the funniest man alive.

Some notable gaffes:

Stuart Scott referred to Duncan as the “Secretary of Defense” instead of Education.

Paul Pierce called Catchings “Chamique Holdsclaw” (a different WNBA player and Tennessee alum).

NBA.com referred to Tim Hardaway as “Penny”.

Photo courtesy of NBA.com

Tags: Arne Duncan, Chamique Holdsclaw, Chocolate Drop, Chris Mullin, Cole World, Common, Doug Gottlieb, Dwight Howard, ESPN, Golden State Warriors, J Cole, JB Smoove, Jeremy Lin, Kevin Durant, Kevin Hart, Linsanity, Mitch Richmond, Ne-Yo, Paul Pierce, Penny Hardaway, Run TMC, Tamika Catchings, Tim Hardaway, University of Tennessee

This entry was posted on February 25, 2012 at 9:53 AM and is filed under NBA. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.